end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
then he tried to convert me to islam
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
