We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize