I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
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Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize