he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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