You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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