He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
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She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
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My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.