You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
