yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
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