He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
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