yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Tornado booty call.. dedication
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
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We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
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