tell your sister to shave her snatch
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
