Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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