so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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