you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
