bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
