get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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