hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Randomize
