you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize