Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Randomize