My nipple is on Facebook.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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