his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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