To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
