Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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