Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
This show inspires me to have sex in space
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize
