He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
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