Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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