he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
