saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
