party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I want a musical about memes.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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