I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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