Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
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