so that wasnt chicken after all
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
