No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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