I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
