i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
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