Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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