yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize