We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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