VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
