I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
