the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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