Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
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