If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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