its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
