So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
