so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
