why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Randomize
