next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
