Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
