oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
He kissed a someone with a penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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