Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Randomize