Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Randomize