Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
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