An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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