girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Randomize
