I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
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