Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Just high enough for therapy.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize
