I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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