i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
